The Real Reasons Why

There are many reasons why people self-harm. One misconception of self-harm is that those harming themselves do so hoping or trying to commit suicide. This is a myth. In a study used to find out the real reasons why, researchers found that the most common use of self-injury was for an emotional release (61% of participates). Other most frequent uses of self-injury was to feel 'alive,' to feel 'in control,' and for 'self-punishment.' And surprisingly the fifth most recognized reason was to keep one's self from hurting or killing themselves.

(Polk, 2009)

It is hard to know why people choose to cause self harm to themselves. According to Parenting.org , "some explanations include impulsivity, a way to distract from personal pain, feelings of control, and peer pressure". It is recommended to contact a trained professional if you know a person who is engaging in any form of self-injurious behaviors. Professionals use the technique and method of interviewing to identify specific reasons and conflicts of why a person may be causing their body self harm. They also can provide interventions for effective treatment and alternative ways of coping and overcoming self-injuring behaviors.

(DeRuyck & Resetar)

Self-injury is an unhealthy way that people choose to control, relieve, and cope with  overwhelming feelings and emotional stress such as numbness, sadness, or anxiety.  "Girls tend to cut themselves more than boys do, although cutting can happen with anyone. It often begins between the ages of 12 and 15, but studies suggest 30-40% of college students who cut begin at 17 years or older." 

(ULifeline, 2013)

The following names are the researchers involved in the following adolescent study. 

Moira Mikolajczak Department of Psychology, Universite´ Catholique de Louvain, Belgium and Belgian National Fund for Scientific Research (FNRS), Louvain-la-Neuve, Belgium.K.V.  Petrides Department of Psychology, University College London, London, UK.Jane Hurry, Institute of Education, University of London, London , UK.

The main objective of this study was to understand the tendency of self-harm among adolescents. The study focuses on the relationship between the traits of emotional intelligence (EI) and self-harm being used as a coping strategy. It was defined that adolescents who purposely self-harm have increased their chances of unintentional suicide. In this article, deliberate self-harm (DSH) is defined as “direct destruction or alteration of body tissue, without apparent or conscious suicidal intent but resulting in injury severe enough for tissue damage to occur.” (skin cutting, skin burning, etc.).  Adolescents use these forms of self-punishment as a coping strategy to regulate their feelings and emotions. This way of regulating emotions was found to be followed with negative affects and emotions (anger, anxiety, sadness, etc.). It's shown that those who use self-harm use it with the intention of lessening negative effects but actually only gives  temporary emotional relief. This research’s hypothesis was supported concluding that “(EI) was positively correlated with adaptive coping style and negatively correlated with maladaptive coping styles and depression”. 

(Mikolajczak, M., Petrides K., & Hurry, J. (2009).)

The "Whys" of Self Harm from Surveyed Teens: 

Aviva Laye-Gindhu is a Doctoral student in the Department of Educational and Counseling Psychology at the University of British Columbia.  Kimberly A. Schonert-Reich is Associate Professor in the Department of Educational and Counseling Psychology at the University of British Columbia. Laye-Gindhu and Schonert-Reich, were both interested in the area of self harm, and both wanted to expand their knowledge by researching further, the reasons teens self harm. They went straight to the source and surveyed high schools teens about the "whats" and "whys" of self harm. An open ended section was provided for the teens to explain why they were engaging in self-harming behaviors. When looking at the “whys” of self-harm, the acts were categorized as being:

    •     Function of  expressing and/or releasing

    •    Self-punishment/hate

    •    Interpersonal-anger

    •     Tension/distress

    •    Curiosity

    •    Substance abuse

    •    Dissolution

    •    Escape

    •    Boredom

    •    Control

    •    Suicide

    •    Attention/communication

(Laye-Gindhu, A., & Schonert-Reichl, K.A. (2005)

Gender Differences in Self-Harm:

One area of interest during the '"Whats" and "Why"' study became the influence of socialization on self-harm. The study revealed differences between how and why adolescents of different genders self harm. The study found that:

• Girls more often than boys were engaging in the self-injurious behaviors, as well as engaging in self-harm more frequently.

•   Boys were found to be more commonly engaging in these behaviors out of boredom or  curiosity. Girls did so out of depression, internalized distress, or as communication.
•  Boys were also more commonly found to engage in these behaviors when around peers, while girls did so in private. 
•  Both genders of self-harmers were found to be maladjusted, suffering with; depression, low self-esteem, and antisocial behavior. 
• 28% of girls used more than just cutting as a means of self harm.

The researchers began to examine how the effects of socialization was effecting how teens self-harmed. Socialization is what drives what kinds of expression are appropriate for males vs. females. Engaging in externalizing problems, or risky behavior, is seen as normal for a young males, not for a females. (Steinberg, L., pg.406) The pressures that each gender during this period is also different. The kinds of social norms in dating, peer, relationships, and overall identity is changing at this time(Steinberg, L., pg. 172).

Young women:

• Communication and emotional expression are encouraged
• Pressure related to physical attractiveness. This can directly tie to self-image, self-esteem, and self-worth (Steinberg, L., pg.238)

Young men:

• Encouraged to be more numb to emotion, and encouraged to be more physical
• Aggression is more widely accepted and encouraged

Concern for meeting the expectations of these roles increases during adolescents(Steinberg, L., pg.165), self-harm in not an entirely excluded from this process. The differences in expectations and stressors for each gender effects self-harming behaviors as well. (Steinberg, L., pg.406).

(Laye-Gindhu, A., & Schonert-Reichl, K.A. (2005)

Causes of self-harm:

There's no one single or simple cause that leads someone to self-injure. In general, self-injury is usually the result of an inability to cope in healthy ways with psychological pain related to issues of personal identity and having difficulty "finding one's place" in family and society. The person has a hard time regulating, expressing or understanding emotions. The mix of emotions that triggers self-injury is complex. For instance, there may be feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, panic, anger, guilt, rejection, self-hatred or confused sexuality.

Through self-injury, the person may be trying to:

• Manage or reduce severe distress or anxiety and provide a sense of relief
• Provide a distraction from painful emotions through physical pain
• Feel a sense of control over his or her body, feelings or life situations
• Feel something, anything, even if it's physical pain, when feeling emotionally empty
• Express internal feelings in an external way
• Communicate depression or distressful feelings to the outside world
• Be punished for perceived faults

(Harms, 2012)

Why do people self harm?

Understanding why someone close to you hurts themselves can be very difficult, even scary. People have all sorts of feelings about self harm including fear, anger, frustration, helplessness, and worry. People self harm for different reasons although it is usually linked to anxiety, depression, and anger.

Some reasons people self harm include:

•    feeling upset, sad, depressed, guilty, hateful, fearful, anxious, lonely, shameful, numb, or angry and the only way to stop these feelings is by hurting themselves,
•   having a horrible feeling building up inside and cutting is the only way to let it out
•     feeling alone and isolated from everybody and hurting themselves is the only way they feel ‘real’ or ‘connected’
•    feeling out of control and cutting or hurting themselves is the only way they feel in control
•     feeling responsible for everything and everyone
•   feeling numb and the only way they feel is by causing pain
•   it can make the pain you feel inside visible and when it is visible it is easier to understand
•   feeling like others only care about them if something bad happens
•   feeling like everything is hopeless
•    to punish themselves or others for something
•   feeling bad about themselves
•   feeling like they have no one to turn to

Some people who self harm have experienced physical, sexual, mental, or emotional abuse or suffer from anxiety. Other triggers include losing someone close to you or not being treated well as a child. Anything that creates stress or pain in people’s lives can lead to self harm. Not all people that self harm have been abused or have experienced big losses. People who self harm have difficulty coping with and talking about their emotions. Because of this, these emotions can build up and feel like too much to handle. Self harm can seem like the only thing that will make these emotions go away or to feel something different. People who self harm may not like themselves or their bodies. It is important to understand that whatever the reason you self harm, there are other ways of dealing with the way you feel.

Why do people keep doing it?

Some people say that self harm helps take away the emotional pain and that this seems like the only way. If something makes us feel better, then we tend to keep doing it. In this way, self harming is an addictive behavior. Like a drug, self harming when you feel like you are not coping can make you feel better. Because you feel better, you keep doing it. When people find hurting themselves brings relief, it can become their main way of dealing with problems – this can start to affect their life in a negative way. What is important to understand is that self harming is just one way of dealing with things and that there are other ways.

Other reasons why people find it difficult to stop self harming include:

•     wondering what they will do to cope instead of self harming
•    wondering whether people will still show they care if they don’t see the cuts and
• scars
•    wondering whether people will still know that they are hurting if they don’t see
•   any injuries
•    letting go of self harming is like letting go of a familiar part of yourself, and
• stopping self harm may feel like losing part of your identity
•   worrying that they might get swallowed up by their feelings if they don’t self harm 
•    concern that they might stay numb. 

(Strickland, 2006)