The first step to recovery for anything is to speak
up, confide in someone. Sometimes being in our own darkness because of
all the hurt, we want help, but we don't know how to get help. Making the
first step to talk to someone you trust can make the world of difference.
Not only is there help to overcome self-harm, there is help to overcome
what the real issue that led to self-harm. Some 'self-injurers' may be
able to overcome by themselves along with help of friends and family.
Others claim to use a higher power, God, to give them strength to
overcome. Where those resources may help some, others may need further
help from organizations that focus on this specific problem, as well as need
for medical treatment (i.e. Psychotherapy).
Other than confiding in a family member or friend,
you may like to speak with a school counselor, teacher, social worker or
psychologist, medical doctor, or a youth worker at a local community center.
Here is a list of groups found on the Internet that
can also help:
S.A.F.E.
Alternatives or by calling (800) 366-8288
The best way to get help is to ask for help. As you
are in the process of getting help and getting the confidence to get help you
can also check out our page for Social Media Support Groups.
Coping with self-harm:
If you or a loved one needs help in coping,
consider the tips below. If there's a focus on thoughts of suicide, you or your
loved one can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24-hour crisis line
at 800-273-8255 (800-273-TALK).
Coping tips if you self-injure:
· Recognize the
situations or feelings that might trigger your desire to self-injure. Make
a plan for other ways to soothe, distract or get support for yourself so you're
ready the next time you feel that urge.
· Connect with others who
can support you so that you don't feel alone. For example, reach out
to a family member or friend, contact a support group or get in touch with your
doctor.
· Learn to express your
emotions in positive ways. For example, to help balance your emotions
and improve your sense of well being, become more physically active, practice
relaxation techniques, or participate in dance, art or music.
· Avoid alcohol and
illegal drugs. They affect your ability to make good decisions and can
put you at risk of self-injuring.
· Avoid websites that
support or glamorize self-injury. Instead, seek out sites that support
your recovery efforts.
How to get support from others:
Be sensitive to those around you. Self-harming may
seem normal to you but to the people around you it may seem frightening.
When you talk about it, try to do it in private
without pressure or interruptions. Make sure the other person has the time to
talk about it; don’t mention when they’re on their way out the door.
Tell them the things you are doing to try and stop
harming yourself.
It won’t be easy talking with others about your self-harm.
Remember that you are in control of how and what they find out.
Why It's hard to talk about:
A lot of young people who self-harm worry about how
their family and friends will react. Some likely reactions are: Being very
worried about you and becoming upset, not knowing what to do or say, getting
angry because they don’t understand, feeling like it might be their fault,
telling you not to do it again or telling you to stop being silly, trying to
ignore it in the hope that it will stop, thinking that you are doing it for
attention. Whatever you think the reaction might be, it is important that you talk
to someone about your self-harming. Keeping it a secret will only keep the
behavior going and you will be at risk of seriously injuring yourself or worse.
How to stop self-harming:
Self-harm is a way of coping with inner pain. It is
difficult to stop self-harming without having other ways to cope. Changing any
behavior is difficult and is a decision only you can make.
Here are some different ways you can react when you
feel like self-harming:
-Decide that you want to stop self-harming: making
this decision is the first step.
-Take yourself away from the situation: something
as simple as removing yourself from the presence of whatever you use to self-harm
works for some people.
-15 Minute Delay: try not to self harm for 15
minutes, if this works, try another 15 minutes and so on.
-Have something to do: keeping yourself occupied
can keep your mind off stress and not leave you time to think about self-harming.
Plan things to do to occupy your free time. You could paint, listen to music,
draw, play guitar, dance, write, sing, or anything creative.
-Try to focus on something else rather than the
pain you may be feeling. Anything that distracts you from how you might be
feeling can stop you feeling worse.
-Make a list of friends/supports you can talk to or
call when you need to. These people should understand your situation and what
you’re going through. Not all friends will be able to do this – most people
find it difficult to understand why someone self harms. If your friends are
having trouble understanding you may need to talk to a professional.
-Try deep breathing and relaxation exercises. Deep
breathing provides your body with oxygen that can help you feel relaxed. Deep
breathing and relaxation exercises can also be good ways to prevent you from
focusing on your emotions.
-Write a diary: write down how you feel and what
might have triggered your desire to self-harm. In this way you can identify and
be aware of what leads you to self-harming and what you might be able to do
before things get too bad.
-Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop
hurting yourself and set some realistic goals to help stop self-harming.
-Call a crisis line if you feel that your self-harm
is becoming dangerous
If you’re trying to stop it’s important to
understand that you may do it again. Don’t get discouraged about his. It’s
important that you don’t give up trying to stop and that you get the support
you need to help you through.
Making your plan to stop self-harming:
People you can talk to if you feel like self-harming
and their phone numbers.
Things that trigger self harm for you – list
reasons you self harm or things you have trouble coping with, this will help
you to know when you are most likely to self harm so you can try to prevent
yourself from doing so.
Things you can do to try stop self-harming.
Other things you can do to cope besides self-harming.
Reward yourself for your efforts in trying to stop self-harming.
Others may not notice but it is important that you
notice and take pride in your efforts to change.
Treatment of self-harm:
There's no one best way to treat self-injuring
behavior, but the first step is to tell someone so you can get help. Treatment
is based on your specific issues and any related mental health conditions you
might have, such as depression.
Treating self-injury behavior can take time, hard
work and your own desire to recover. Because self-injury can become a major
part of your life and it's often accompanied by mental disorders, you may need
treatment from a mental health professional experienced in self-injury issues.
There are several treatment options for
self-injuring behavior.
Psychotherapy
Known as talk therapy or counseling, psychotherapy
can help you identify and manage underlying issues that trigger self-injuring
behavior. Therapy can also help you learn skills to better manage distress,
help regulate your impulsiveness and other emotions, boost your self-image,
better your relationships, and improve your problem-solving skills.
Several types of individual psychotherapy may be helpful,
such as:
· Cognitive behavioral
therapy, which helps you identify unhealthy, negative beliefs and
behaviors and replace them with healthy, positive ones.
· Dialectical behavior
therapy, a type of cognitive behavioral therapy that teaches behavioral
skills to help you tolerate distress, manage or regulate your emotions, and
improve your relationships with others.
· Psychodynamic
psychotherapy, which focuses on identifying past experiences, hidden
memories or interpersonal issues at the root of your emotional difficulties
through self-examination guided by a therapist.
· Mindfulness-based
therapies, which help you live in the present, appropriately perceive
the thoughts and actions of those around you to reduce your anxiety and
depression, and improve your general well being.
In addition to individual therapy sessions, family
therapy or group therapy also may be recommended.
Medications
There are no medications that
specifically treat self-injuring behavior. However, your doctor may recommend
treatment with antidepressants or other psychiatric medications to help treat
depression, anxiety or other mental disorders commonly associated with
self-injury. Treatment for these disorders may help you feel less compelled to
hurt yourself.
Psychiatric Hospitalization
If you injure yourself severely
or repeatedly, your doctor may recommend that you be admitted to a hospital for
psychiatric care. Hospitalization, often short term, can provide a safe
environment and more intensive treatment until you get through a crisis. Day
treatment programs also may be an option.
Making Treatments More Effective:
You can do some things for yourself that will build
on your treatment plan. In addition to professional treatment, follow these
self-care tips:
· Stick to your treatment plan,
including keeping psychotherapy appointments and taking prescribed medications
as directed.
· Keep your doctor or mental health
care provider's phone number handy, and tell him or her about all incidents
related to self-injury.
· Appoint a trusted family member or
friend as the person you'll immediately contact if you have an urge to
self-injure or if self-injuring behavior recurs.
· Take appropriate care of your wounds
if you do injure yourself or seek medical treatment if needed — call your
relative or friend for help and support.
· Don't share instruments used for
self-injury, which raises the risk of infectious disease.
· Ask your doctor for advice if you
have sleep problems, which can significantly affect your behavior.
· Learn how to include physical
activity and relaxation exercises as a regular part of your daily routine.
Looking forward
When everything seems too big to handle and you
can’t see a way out, it can be hard to think about your future. When you feel
this way there are some things you can think about:
The people that you most look up to have probably
gone through a really difficult time in their life – it does end.
The problems that seem unsolvable will change.
Life is always changing
Feeling bad doesn’t last forever; it only lasts as
long as we think about it.
If you went to live on the moon, there would be at
least one person who would be sad to see you go.
There are people who want to hear what you’ve got
to say. There are people who understand. There are people who want to help you
stop self-harming. Self-harming stops you from dealing with the reasons for
your pain. There are other ways to deal with how you feel that don’t cause harm
to yourself. The first step is to reach out and talk to someone and see the
future you have ahead of you.
Resources:
Crisis Lines
Your general practitioner/family doctor
Your school counselor
Local community or youth (health) service
Local child and adolescent mental health service
Emergency department of your local hospital
Family and friends
(Strickland, 2006)
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